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Hey everyone! I've finally managed to wrap my head around a new book. Eating Animals, by Jonathan Safran Foer. And it's pretty true to it's name: it's all about eating animals. Or, more specifically, the animal farming business. And holy shit, was it disgusting.

I received this book from some very well-intentioned people, but I don't think they quite knew how disturbing this book would be. I actually couldn't even finish it. Foer was so blatantly animalistic (pun intented) in his promotion of a vegetarian lifestyle, and so dead-set on blasting any supporter of meat-eating that I was constantly feeling guilty for even buying grass-fed, humanely treated/slaughtered meat. In fact, he goes so far as to say that the meat that we eat is "tortured flesh." I mean, come on, thanks for the visual!

Now, I have to be fair here. Jonathan started off the book as any author who is attempting to uncover the dirty secrets (and I'll admit, it's pretty dirty) of factory farmed animals. He starts with statistics about how 75 million people get food poisoning from factory farmed animal meats, and how we're pumping ourselves full of the growth hormones and other crap that the animals we're eating are being dosed on. But then he gets into the scary shit, like how animals have been bred beyond the ability to reproduce sexually, how animals are deprived of their natural foods in order to promote faster growth rates, and how most, if not all, animals are diseased in some way. Basically, that any chicken you get from Tyson or Perdue probably was hyped up on antibiotics, or the eggs you bought from Stop and Shop were produced from a chicken that was being conditioned to longer days, smaller amounts of feed and not alot of space so that they can lay more eggs. And that chicken was also confined to a space smaller than an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper for its entire life. And don't even get me started about the pigs and the cows. It was because of how graphically he described the slaughter house for beef that I stopped reading the book, close to vomiting/crying on the T on my way home from work. It's taken me weeks just to get the nerve to write about this book, for crissakes.

So, I get it. He doesn't think we should eat meat. Or he doesn't think we should eat factory farmed meat, but that humanely raised meat is ok? Or he also doesn't think that humanely raised meat is even humanely raised because even though they were grass fed, they had to be shipped off to a slaughter house, plumped up on grain for a month and then shot through the head with a bolt? A la that movie with the two old guys out in Texas? Foer's message is so convoluted, and he contradicts himself so many times in the book, that it's hard for me to get a clear idea on what he himself thinks, which is why I've created a list of things I learned from this book:

1. All factory farmed meat from animals: fish, cows, pigs, chickens, etc is tortured flesh.

2. All of those animals are also fed tons of antibiotics, often tortured by the sadistic workers at said factory farms, and are forced to feed on foods not natural to their evolutionarily derived diet.

3. Many of those animals are mutilated to prevent cannibalism, or suicide. (This was the hardest stuff to read about)

4. He visits farms that allow their animals to live natural, happy lives, but often finds ways to throw these people under the bus because "cage-free" "free-range" and "humanely raised" aren't "legally defined" terms that can be backed up by case law/legal regulations

5. The FDA doesn't visit these factory farms at all, and often because the lobby is so huge in D.C.

6. Hotdogs are bad.

7. He wanted to write this book to talk about the discoveries he made while trying to figure out how to feed his newborn son, and to educate people about the truths behind the animal meat industry in America. Cute.

8. While doing that, he manages to alienate his reader because his "altruism" quickly turns into "I'm better than you because I'm a vegetarian." Not cute.

9. I still can't tell what it is this book was supposed to be about: was it an expose on the animal farms? Was it supposed to tell people to be a vegetarian? I hate books that have a "I'm only telling you one side of the story, and YOU decide for yourself." Pick a fucking side already, buddy.

10. THis guy has no sense of humor.

Ok. While I still try each and every day to stop thinking about the grisly descriptions in this guys book, I'm still left with very little information about what is a good way to choose the most-humanely raised meat I can find. I love meat. I won't give it up. It's a wonderful source of protein for me, and since I'm in training, I need lots of it. I also don't want to eat antibiotics or hormones in my meat because I'm 24 and I'm going have babies within the next 5-6 years and I want to be as healthy as possible. But I know that being a vegetarian takes a bit more thought and prep than being an omnivore does, and I'd rather spend more time at the gym or outside than trying to figure out how to soak beans for some kind of bean loaf or something. So, when I received this book as a gift, I thought "Great! A book about the industry, this will be awesome. OK, so he doesn't eat meat himself, this should provide an interesting point of view. Hopefully he'll come across some farms that are raising meat the old-fashioned way, and I can learn more about that!"

Au contraire, mon frere. Totally not the case. It was one page after the other, each page more distressing than the past. Nieman Farms? The forerunner of humanely-raise meat? Yea, apparently in Foer's opinion not so much. And why? Because they have to bring their animals to a slaughter house that kills the animals the same way a factory farm would. Same with any other small, family run farm that sells meat that was raised organic, naturally, humanely, etc. There is no winning with this guy! I'd hate to be his wife. I mean just look at him! Talk about a smug bastard.

All I can say about this book is: beware. If you are a vegetarian and want more back-up for why you've chosen to drop meat off of your plates, go ahead and read it, you'll find it. But if you're an omnivore like me, hoping for an informational discourse on the benefits of humanely-raised animals and how they compare to one another - and more importantly, support for why spending an extra $3 per pound for ground turkey is justified - you'll be sorely disappointed.

The Historian: The Best Vampire/Historical Fiction Book Ever

After much prodding and ridiculing on the part of MD, I've gotten back on the proverbial horse and have another review for you. In hindsight, I've really enjoyed writing this blog. I like having a space where I can get up on my soapbox and expound on what I like about books, and what I dislike. I might even have to have a few rants, like what JF does. (Because sometimes you just need to get some things off of your chest). But I've found that when I start reading a book that I want to blog about, I find myself 100 pages in to the book and I haven't been able to put it down. I'm a voracious reader -- I can read in all different environments -- cars, airplanes and airports, the T, in a room with 10 other people. In fact, that's what I would do during my family trips to my paternal grandparents house. I would get a new book (or five) for Christmas, and then plant myself on the couch for three days reading. Dogs would bark, my little brother would try to distract me, music would be played, conversations would be had all around me at all different sound levels. But when I start reading, I'm transported into the world that the author has woven for me. It's as if I'm there, in the action, feeling the pain and jubilation of all the characters as they go through the story. Ken Follet's World without End and Pillars of the Earth are two of my favorite books because they weave the lives of characters throughout an entire lifetime.

So, my conundrum is that I read too fast and find myself having issues taking time away from when I could be reading, so that I can write the blog. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get better about it.

I read The Historian a few weeks ago, and am still lusting after it, and I plan to re-read it (which, for me, is the mark of a good book). It was a whirlwind, roller coaster ride of a novel, heavily based in historical fact that illustrates a world so much different, so much more raw, then what I live in today. In short, the story is about a girl, whose name is never given, who learns through her father that Dracula, i.e. Vlad the Destroyer, i.e. the Transylvannian king who loved staking his entire kingdom and who managed to become undead, is still alive and still very much active.

Her father tells her the story of when he was a graduate student, he received a book with a stamped dragon in it. Subtle clues lead him to believe, and discover, that Dracula is behind the leaving of this strange book, and begins a round the world chase to find him and stop him from killing a close friend, whom Dracula kidnapped. I can't give too much away because my handsome boyfriend is currently reading it and he may break up with me if I reveal too much, so I will do my best to share with you my overall impressions of the book, rather than divulge too much detail.

For starters, I saw this book on the shelves about a year ago, and was unimpressed with the back page summary. When I flew down to Baltimore for Christmas 2009, however, I needed a book and so I went to the Borders in Logan Airport. Chance (or was it fate?) lead me to find The Historian on the top shelf, and my curiosity was piqued when I saw it was an international bestseller. Well, if the world thinks its a good book, I might as well try it out. I read the first 90 pages on the flight down and was stunned. I was exhilarated by the vivid imagery of Communist Europe, and the fast-paced, heart-pounding race to stop Dracula.

What I was most impressed with was the author's use of primary documents that were sprinkled throughout the book, reproduced in whole, that supported the fictitious storyline. It was masterful. I felt I was actually learning something! The author was also very true to the "real" vampire lore -- none of this shiney-in-sunlight, or "vegetarian" vampire stuff.

One final note about this book: it scared the living daylights out of me. I'm a pretty big scaredy cat as it is, and so as I was drawn deeper and deeper into the story I found myself more and more scared. (A note: my boyfriend is not as much of a scaredy cat as me, and even he is scared as he goes through the book). I would look out the window warily, wondering if there was something out there, lurking, watching. For the last 200 pages of the book, I couldn't even bring myself to put the book down. I was addicted to the book, but with each passing page I got more and more terrified that Dracula would come and get me. I stayed up until 1 AM reading until I finally finished the book (that is waaay past my bedtime) and when I was turning off the light, my heart was pounding through my chest as the dark descended over my covers.

My vote: Read this book. You won't regret it. But make sure you have time to devote to reading it, because you'll find it very hard to put down.